The space between

One of the hardest things about working at home is the constant tug of war between the things I should be doing to secure us financially and the things I should be doing for my child.

On some days I am mindful and methodical about the way I spend each moment, I kick down deadlines, I help Declan make a new discovery, I do laundry, I write satisfying paragraphs, I am kissed by everyone in the house.

But on days like today, I end up feeling inadequate at everything. I can't come up with enough ideas, send enough emails, make enough calls without feeling like I'm doing it all at Declan's expense. And I can't read books, marvel adequately at Dec's independence or play imaginary games without feeling like I should be back at my computer, pressing forward, finding my next gig.